Impulse
by Arkantoz
Summary: "And she left you listening to a dial tone. And for the first time, you felt what it meant to be heartbroken."


The sun is too bright, the pomp and circumstance too much. You nearly lose what little breakfast you had when a girl wearing much too much perfume pushes past you. Silently you hate your friends for taking you out drinking the night before graduation because that may have honestly been the stupidest thing they could ever have done. Well at least by the time your parents see you hopefully the three cups of coffee and six Advil will finally kick in.

You're hot and sweaty and thinking about just ditching this whole thing when your name is called and you walk across the stage shaking so many equally sweaty hands. It's as if the gowns were made to make all people look equally fat and make all people suffer. As you cross the stage you look for the familiar head of blonde hair. You know she won't be here, she's still in school, they don't graduate for another week and she's been busy doing auditions for things. Still, there's the hope inside you that somehow she found time to visit. New York isn't so far away from Boston right?

As you sit through the rest of the formalities and the boring ceremony you allow your mind to drift off to thoughts of Brittany. There's not another person that knows you as completely as she does, she probably knows you better than you know yourself. You're glad you had her though. She coached you on how to make friends rather than minions because to be honest, it was totally easy to get someone to do your bidding, it's getting someone to actually want to spend time with you that's the hard part. Brittany has brought out your 'soft' side as she calls it. And you can't decide whether or not you like this 'soft' side. Thinking about her just reminds you of the awful conversation that you had with her two months ago.

"Hey Brit."

"San!"

"I got into law school!"

"Where?"

"Berkeley. And I'm going! I'm so exicited!" You hear a long sigh on the other side of the phone.

"You're going to Berkeley."

"You don't sound excited."

"What am I supposed to do? All the parts I auditioned for are in New York or SoCal San. I thought we were going to make this decision together."

"Brit, this is once in a life time. Who gets into Berkeley and turns them down? I'd be crazy to turn them down."

"Sometimes I don't feel like your girlfriend San."

"What?"

"You make all the decisions. You're in charge. And most of the time I'd be okay with it. But this decision isn't just about you. I can't stand being this far away from you again. Berkeley to L.A. is no fucking better than Boston to New York. You know how many fucking times I've seen you during college? Nine times in four years including holidays. I'm tired of this San, and I don't know if I can do this. I just don't know San. I'll call you."

And she left you listening to a dial tone. And for the first time, you felt what it meant to be heartbroken.

That was a month ago. She hadn't called since. You don't even know if you're still together. Not that it matters since you're preoccupied with work, and even if you weren't Brittany was always the one you would love forever.

So when you catch sight of a blonde head with a turquoise feather sticking out your heart nearly pounds its way out of your rib cage. She catches sight of you and winks before finding a place to stand. As soon as the ceremony ends, you're in her arms, your arms around her neck your legs around her waist. It's times like these you're glad Brit is the sturdy dancer she is, most girls would not be able to support a jumping Santana Lopez. But you're parents are still there and as oblivious as ever to the nature of your relationship with Brittany. So it pretty much surprises everyone when you lay a hot smoldering kiss on her. Your hands are everywhere, her hands are….on your ass? It isn't until your father begins to clear his throat quite vigorously that you pull away. Brittany lets you down to the ground gently and subtly reaches for you hand before you both turn back to your parents.

You're suddenly more nervous than ever. What will your parents do now? They just found out their only daughter is gay. Britt just squeezes your hand and stands slightly closer to you as though she can protect you. It's your father that is the first to speak.

"You're with Brittany now?" He's not meeting your eyes and you take that as a bad sign.

"Yes."

He nods and continues, "There will still be a marriage, no? Because your mother has wanted to plan your wedding since you were born."

"Yes Dad, when the time comes there will still be a wedding."

You thought for sure that they were done with you, that they were done associating with you and that you would need to find a new home. This reaction? This tame reaction was not the one you were expecting. But you're happy nonetheless.

After the celebratory dinner, your parents leave on a plane back to Ohio and you turn to Britt for the first time since you laid that kiss on her. You really look at her, see her. You see the weariness behind her smile and her laugh.

"I guess it's time to talk." You hear her say.

"Yeah, I guess it is." You breathe heavily. You've never been good at apologizing, at admitting you were wrong. "Britt, I'm sorry I made decisions without you. I assumed and I was selfish. You have to know that I want to be with you more than humanly possible and I don't want you to give up –"

She silences you with her lips. "I got a part in a production in San Francisco."

And for the first time in your life, you finally know what people mean when they say 'It was meant to be'. Because you and Brittany? It was meant to be. Always.


End file.
